I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize