Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
