ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize