This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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