Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
