I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My ass is underappreciated
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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