Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
