my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
