Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize