i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
