i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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