Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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