i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
