oh god the rape fog is back!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
