It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
