Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
