You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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