And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
