She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize