You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
