im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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