so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
