Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
