it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
