3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
