If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
