I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
