what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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