it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
