I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
