i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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