I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize