Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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