I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
