i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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