So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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