So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
