We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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