y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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