I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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