This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
