My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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