it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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