if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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