we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
