fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
