yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize