I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
