you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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