Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
