I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize