I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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