You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
