what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
