Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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