I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
