Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
