sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
