have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
