i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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