take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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